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親に甘えよ!30手前男は実家に帰って無職を始める【転職体験ブログ第4章第2話】

精神疾患となって仕事を辞めた僕は29歳から無職を始めました。

一人暮らしをしていましたが、経済的にも不安定となりつつあり、そのうち、そうだ、親に助けてもらおうと思い立ち、実家に電話をかけることに。

困窮して親に電話

無職になって一番の心配はお金でした。アルバイトもできない状態だったのでお金は減っていくばかり。

正直、ひとりで生活するのも大変だったので親に電話をかけました。

その時まで一度も親には相談しませんでした。

親とは不仲というわけでもないですし、話づらい家庭環境というわけでもないんですが、昔からそういう習慣がなかったというか、一人暮らしを始めてからは年に数度くらいしか連絡を取り合いませんでした。

なので久しぶりに僕の声を聞き、おまけに仕事を辞めたと知って母親は驚きました。もちろんこれまで書いてきたような話をすべて打ち明けました。

家に戻ろうと思うと伝えると、もっと早くに言うべきだったと母親に言われました。

実家へ退避はベストな選択肢?

僕と同じような状況の方で親に頼れるのなら、実家に帰らせてもらうという選択はベストな気がします。

というか、なんとなく無職をしていて、一応は職を探す気はあるという方でも、できるなら実家に戻っていったん態勢を整えるのがきちんと生活を立て直しやすいと思います。とはいえ、両親との関係や家庭環境なんかはいろいろですから、絶対にベストとも言い切れませんが。

それに地方から出てきた人など、出戻りの難易度は高くなりそうですよね。僕はわりと近い地域だったので、そういう距離的な抵抗みたいなものはありませんでした。

いや本当にいつでも帰れる状態なので、仕事を辞める前にも両親に相談し、いろいろ準備をしてからやめるべきでした。

実家での生活が始まる

まさか自分が30手前になって再び、実家で暮らし始めるとは想像もしてませんでしたが、不思議なくらい日に日に精神の状態が安定してきました。たぶん、あらゆるストレスや不安から解放されたからだと思います。

僕の場合だとほとんどメリットばかりです。

  • 家賃や食費がかからない
  • 病気などの問題があればすぐに助けてもらえる
  • 食事が出てくる
  • 金の心配がひとまず解消されて安心感を抱ける
  • 誰かと話す機会ができる

親に甘える状態ですが、病気のこともあるので両親も理解してくれました。当面、お金を気にしなくていいと思うと大きな安心感を抱けました。

しかし「誰かと話す機会ができる」という点で家族と同居してよかったです。

一人暮らしで鬱々とひきこもっていると、話し相手がいません。実家だと、ちょっとした挨拶くらいでもする相手がいます。家族の存在って本当にありがたいです。

ストレスを完全に遠ざけているうえ、薬も効いてか、しばらくするとそれなりに元気を取り戻しました。もっとも、快復したとはいえず、大きなストレスと遭遇すればたちまちもと通り不安定になるだろうという感じはありましたが。

社会人が親に頼るのはいけないことか?

僕は大学を出てからもしばらくはアルバイト生活でした。正社員になったのが28歳の頃。ようやく腰を据えて安定した生活を始めた矢先、29歳になって精神を患い、退職です。そして親の元へ。

一般的な生き方は、成人したら仕事を始め、自分の金で暮らすというものです。それからはずれると「いつまで親のすねをかじってるんだ」とか「もう親の面倒をみる立場なんだぞ」と批判的に見られます。

そして反対に立派に働き、親へお金を入れている若者は「お前はすごいな!」とほめそやされます。少なからず批判されません。苦労の多いハードな人生を過ごしたがんばり者は立派だなと賞賛されます。

正社員を始めるまで、周囲の人間から「しっかり生きろよ」と言われました。正社員を始めたら、誰も何も言わなくなりました。

たった、それだけの差で「まともな大人」と「だめな大人」を区別するような物の見方で、多くの人間がものを考え、発言し、手足を動かしています。これが社会通念となり、そこらの人の頭にすりこまれています。

働いてない人、ふらふらしている人は強迫的に「ちゃんと働かないと!」という気になります。

働いてない人、ふらふらしている人を見た人は機械的に「ちゃんと働けよ!」という気になります。

そんな社会です。気味が悪いです。

僕はもっと別なパラダイムで社会があればいいのになあと思います。

ニートもフリーターも当たり前!という社会であれば、むしろニートやフリーターから正社員への移行が活発になり、結果的にニートやフリーターが減るんじゃないかな、と。社会学的なことや経済学的なことは僕には分かりませんが。

20代も30代も親に甘えてベストを探ろう

今親に甘えて暮らしている20代や30代の方。

それは甘えじゃなくて活用です。僕もそうですが、親に頼れる環境です。

まあ親から口うるさく言われたり、関係がぴりぴるする時もあるかと思いますが、客観的にその状態を見れば、すごく理想的と言えるでしょう。

というのも、これからの生活をじっくり作る余裕があるというような状態です。毎月家賃や生活費の支払いに追われていては、転職してよりよい生活を送りたいと思ってもなかなか実行に移すこともできません。

とりあえず不自由なく暮らせるのであれば、進路の選択をしっかり見極められますし、失敗してもまたやり直して態勢を立て直せます。

「こんな、だらだらしてたらだめだな」と余計な自責の念にかられる必要もないです。衝動的に就活を始め、変な会社に入ってしまったら、そのうち再び無職生活が始まるかもしれません。

今、社会に出るのに躊躇っている方も、それでいいと思います。それが一年でも五年でも十年でも。

もちろん職につくためのハードルは歳を重ねるごとにどんどん高くなるかもしれませんが、どうにか仕事は見つかります。

ただし、最終的には仕事を探し始めて採用されて「なかなかいい感じで一件落着」となれそうになるための甘え方をしましょう。つまり、ぶらぶらしつつ、親に甘えているのは生活を作るためだという事実を忘れないようにしましょう。

親を活用して自分のベストな生活作りをさせてもらうための無職というわけです。その自覚さえあれば、今はどのように過ごすのもありかと思います。

ニートや無職やすねかじり…言わせておきましょう。

まとめ

次回は無職の有効な時間の使い方について書こうと思います。

ド底辺のプロローグ~転職活動体験談~

ド底辺の始まりは29歳。仕事がきっかけで心身ともにボロボロになり、心療内科へ。退職を決意し、療養生活を経たのち、転職活動……続きを読む
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