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ド底辺のエピローグ~転職成功後の新しい生活~

無事に転職先が決まって30歳から新しい生活がスタートしました。

何をもって転職成功というのかは難しい話ですが、現在数年勤めてみた感想としては、まるで生まれ変わったかのような人生を過ごせており、転職できてよかったと心から思えます。

今回は転職後の暮らしぶりについて。また、過去を振り返って思うことなどを綴っていきます。

転職前の略歴

僕が最初に正社員として働きだしたのが28歳の頃。塾講師の仕事でした。それまではフリーターや契約社員暮らしです。

正社員2年目の夏、ストレスによる心身不調が重なり、精神疾患を引き起こして退職。ついでに発達障害の傾向があるとまで診断されました。

そこから無職生活でしたが金銭的に苦しくなり、また自己管理も困難だったので一人暮らしをやめて実家に戻って療養することに。

29歳という年齢なのに正社員経験は一年ほど。おまけに心の病歴まであります。そんな経歴で転職活動を始めたので仕事が見つかるか不安でいっぱいでした。

未経験職種に転職

僕の場合は転職エージェントを活用することで仕事を見つけました。

というか、誰かの力を借りないと到底うまく職探しができなかったのでエージェントに頼るほかなかったというのが正しいかもしれません。

キャリアアドバイザーの方にこれまでの人生について語り、「どんな仕事を探せばいいかさえ分かっていない」と正直に伝えました。面談後、勧められたのがWeb関係のお仕事。

いくつかの求人を見せてもらい、その一つだったのが現在勤め先の会社です。塾講師からサイトの企画や製作、運営管理などに携わる会社員に転身したわけです。

例えば営業をしている人が別の職種で働いている自分を想像するのは難しいかと思います。僕も実際に働き出す前には、この先どうなっていくのかと予想もつかず、心配でたまりませんでした。

それでも明るい考えも浮かびました。未知の生活を始めることになるので、これまでのド底辺的な時期をいったんリセットし、ゼロから充実した人生を作るためのチャレンジをしているような気持ちになりました。

現在の職場

勤め先はこじんまりとしたWeb製作会社で、アットホームな職場です。

といっても、わいわい、ほのぼのという感じではなく、仕事的にも黙々系の時間が多いですが、何と言ったらいいのか、居心地は悪くありません。

たぶん、そこで働く人たちの生き方とか価値観とかが自分には感じの良い印象を与えるからかもしれません。人数の少ない職場では、社員それぞれの個性が全体の雰囲気を作り上げているような気がします。

塾講師の時には同僚のほか、子どもや保護者などとも関ります。そのため、転職当初は少人数の大人、それも同僚たちのみとしか触れ合わなくて済むという環境が珍しくもあり、自分には性に合っているとも感じました。

仕事の内容も未経験なので最初からつまずきっぱなしの失敗の繰り返しでしたが、同僚や職場の雰囲気のおかげで、前向きに、そして積極的な姿勢で仕事をこなせるようになるべく取り組めています。

あの悪夢のような状況は何だったのか

前職ではある時期から、食べられない、眠れないの日々が続いていつ倒れてもおかしくない瀕死状態でした。何のやる気も欲求も起きず、毎日、仕事に行くのが憂鬱であり、帰宅後も仕事のことが頭から離れませんでした。

今思い返すと、悪夢のような生活で、そんな時期が本当にあったなんて信じられないくらいです。

どんな仕事でもしんどさやストレスや苦労はあります。

しかし「仕事はしんどいものだ」という意識・社会通念を誤って用いると、誰しもいろんな生き方ができるという当然のことが現実味を失ってしまうことになります。

例えば、今の仕事を強烈にしんどいと思う人が「仕事はしんどいものだから、耐えるしかないんだ」と思って毎日を過ごして生きていたとします。

それが正解かどうかは僕には判断できませんが、一つ言えることは「そんなふんばり方を必要としない仕事はいくらでもある」ということです。

僕は仕事を変えたのち、悪夢的な状況に陥ってはいません。仕事のしんどさも、今と昔のものではまったく性質が違います。こういう人生の転換は珍しいケースでは決してありません。誰しもそれができます。

生きていると周囲のあらゆる条件が自分の選択肢や可能性を制限しようと働きかけてきます。目の前のしんどさをいかに耐えうるかみたいな一生を過ごすのではもったいない気がします。

自分がちょっと動き出せば、進路は大きく変えられるというのを忘れないで生きましょう!

それでもどこかにマッチする仕事・会社は見つかる

転職にまつわる悩みで、身近に聞く話には以下のようなものがあります。それについて僕なりの意見を述べたいと思います。ただし、僕はキャリアアドバイザーでも何でもないので、あくまでも独断的な感想です。

仕事を辞めて転職したが、また仕事をすぐに辞めてしまった

どういう理由で辞めたにしても、何度も辞めてしまう人ほど「自分のせいだ」と思わなくていいです。周囲の人間でそのように言ってくれる人がいても気にしなくていいです。

自分にぴったりとは言わないまでも、長く働ける仕事や会社は必ず存在します。選び方を間違っているだけのことです。

辞めないですむ仕事を探すためには、職種や業界や会社と様々な点からどのようなものを選べばいいかと考えてみるのもいいかもしれません。

「なんとなく入ったら、いい会社だった」なんて縁のような感じで巡り会うこともあります。

いずれにせよ、辞めてしまうなら辞めてしまうでいいと僕は思います。

今の仕事が向いてない気がするけど、転職するのが不安

転職する不安と向いてないという不安を秤にかけてみましょう。突き詰めて考えていくと、転職する不安がちっぽけだと気づくはずです。もしそう思わなければ、それほど不向きではないのかもしれません。

転職する不安とは言い換えれば挑戦につきものの不安です。その挑戦が終われば不安も消えてしまいます。

これは僕の知人の知人という遠い人の話ですが、教師をしているAさんがいます。その人はメンタルが不安定になりやすい性格で、うつ病になって長い休職に入り、しばらく経って復帰し、しかし一か月とか、早い時には一週間もしないうちにまた仕事を休んで…を何年もの間、繰り返しているそうです。

僕の知人はAさんから悩み相談を受けて、いつも「とにかく、がんばって乗り越えよう」みたいなアドバイスをしていると言ってました。

正直、僕なら「向いてないから別の仕事を試した方がいい」と答えます。Aさんの人物像を詳しく知りませんが、精神状態を悪くしている主な原因は教師という仕事のせいのように思えます。

Aさんは30歳半ばですが、他の仕事に転職することは可能です。絶対に教師でなければいけない理由がなければ転職するべきです。

不向きだと感じ、生活に支障があるなら、不安かもしれませんが転職活動を開始するのもいいでしょう。

転職したいけど、これって逃げ?働き出したばかりだけどもう辞めたい

今の仕事を辞めたい、これって逃げ?と思うこともあります。

逃げではありません。というか、自他ともに「逃げだ!」と思えるような状況で転職しても、それは選択変更でしかありません。

ちなみに会社という組織では、絶対にこの人がいてくれなくては機能しないという事態は基本的には起こらないようになっています。それはどのポジションの人でも変わりないです。

確かにあなたが今すぐ辞めることで会社に迷惑をかけることになるかもしれませんが、それは一過性のものであり、会社の存亡に関わるものではありません。

急に飛ぶような辞め方でなければ、すぐ辞めるという決断もありです。変な空気になりますが、それも一時のことだと割り切りましょう。

もしブラック企業で心身ボロボロでやばいという方は飛ぶように即行で辞めるべきでしょう。それは決して逃げではなく、危険回避です。

転職したいけど躊躇ってしまう

転職を躊躇っている原因の根っこをまずは把握しましょう。

大胆に行動できないというだけの話であれば、将来についてあまり神経質に考え込まず「ノリで生きてみよう。たまには思い切ったこともいいだろう」と自分に対して無責任になってみてはどうでしょうか。

ちなみに誰かに相談する場合にはその相手を慎重に選びましょう。

まずは自己と冷静に相談。次に客観的に助言できる第三者。上司や母親などの意見はあてにならないことが多いので避けた方がいいでしょう。

転職活動してるけど仕事が決まらない

大丈夫です、今後死ぬまで仕事が見つからず、転職活動を永遠にし続けている自分を想像してみてください。おそらく想像できないと思います。

ブラック企業でくたびれたから辞めるべきだよね?

今すぐにでも辞めるべきです。

この世にはブラック企業の何十倍?という数のブラック企業でない企業が存在します。

仕事にやりがいを求めることはどう思う?

やりがいを感じられる仕事と出会えたら、それはとても幸福なことではあるでしょうが、「特定の仕事=自分のやりがい」という単純な話でもなさそうです。

あなたはつまらない労働に従事していたとしましょう。その業務にやりがいを感じることは微塵もありません。

ところが数年経ち、課長とかグループリーダーみたいな立場になったとします。業務自体は相変わらずつまらないものばかりですが、その立場による役割がやりがいを感じさせてくれるようになったといった状況もありえます。

そのため、自分にとってのやりがいとは何かを今一度考えてみるのもいいでしょう。そうすれば職探しの判断基準も変わるかもしれません。

働きたくない

僕もです。できれば何もしたくありません。

しかし、そうはいってられません。できれば何もしたくないけれど、それでも働かなければならないのがどうやら人生のようです。

「働きたくない。でも、この会社で働きたくないわけではない」

そんな地に足ついた理想的な職場を探してみるのもいいかもしれません。

まとめ

現在は楽しく仕事をしていますが、この先どうなるかは分かりません。それは僕だけでなく、誰にでもあてはまることでしょう。

しかし転職経験を経て多くのことを学べたように思えます。大げさかもしれませんが、人生を見つめ直す時間になったと言ってもいいでしょう。

繰り返しになりますが、転職は人生をより充実したものにできるチャンスです。どのような理由で転職することになったとしても、それが本質です。

明るく転職!なんてまやかしじみたことは口にはできませんが、この先、後悔なく全力で生きるために今を思い切って駆けだしましょう。

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